Top 5 Strip Club Myths

After a few years in the industry one begins to notice a trend when talking to others about the adult night club industry. For some reason, those with the least first-hand experience seem to have the firmest convictions and are the most vocal. Next time your friend starts spewing some of this nonsense, you can set him straight! Here’s our Top 5 strip club myths:

#1 Strip Clubs are Run by Criminals

Criminal in jailWhile some strip clubs originally had ties to the criminal element, today they are highly regulated business enterprises. More than likely the guy who owns your local strip club has undergone more background checks and disclosed more information to the local and state government than your lawyer, doctor, or insurance agent.

At one club, the owner’s brother, who was responsible for maintenance and upgrades, was forbidden from working on the property, even during non-business hours based on the fact he had a charge for driving without a license on his record nearly 25 years ago.  Imagine the scrutiny the owners go through to get a liquor license, and in many cases a gaming license. As a general rule of thumb, the owners have passed multiple background checks and had their credit history and tax records examined. Myth 1… busted!

#2 Strip Clubs are Dangerous

This is a favorite of the movies and is popular with people who have never been to a strip club. Next time you hit  strip club take a look around. See all those guys who look like retired NFL players? They’re your security and they are there to make sure everyone is safe. The girls, the staff, and the customers.  Hypothetically, (don’t try this at home) if you were to stand up and hoist a chair over your head and start shouting at random patrons, there is no other place on earth that can match the speed with which you will be restrained, ejected, and placed in the back of a squad car. Try that at Applebee’s and you’ll likely be asked nicely to please leave (and make it off the property before the cops show up). Most clubs also have metal detectors so your odds of running into someone with a weapon are minimal. It’s extremely uncommon for a large fight to break out in a strip club, and even then put your money on the security staff. Myth 2… busted!

#3 Strip Clubs are Dirty

This one is a classic. Yes there are some shit-holes out there, but they don’t tend to do to well.

A good rule of thumb: if the parking lot is paved and 85% of the exterior lights are working, you’re good to go.

Successful strip clubs have professional cleaning staffs that come in after hours and make sure everything is spic & span. Part of the reason is that they are fighting this very misconception and so go out of their way to make sure it exceeds expectations. Secondly, they are in fierce competition with several other clubs. In the grand scheme of things it’s a relatively low cost, high reward proposition to have an immaculate club. The one place in a high end strip club that is usually far above the average is the men’s room. Most clubs have a dedicated staff member who acts as a wash room valet. His job is to make sure everything is spotless and he usually has gum, mints, cologne, and more for the guests. Be sure to tip him for this often thankless job! Myth #3… busted!

#4 Strip Clubs are Expensive

Strip clubs are like gambling in a casino. If you decide to spend a large sum of money, the casino will happily give you free drinks in exchange for your wad of $100s. So too with strip clubs. If you show up in your designer jeans with a bankroll of benjamins, the staff will do their best to help you spend it.

If you plan ahead, and call a VIP hosting company, you can have a great time for less than $50. It all just depends on your budget and tastes. For $30 you can get a round trip limo, cover, 2 drinks of your choice, and VIP table. Throw in another $20 for singles or a lap dance and for $50 you can have a good time. Start racking up a bar tab and lap dances, and you can easily spend $500 before you know it. Make a budget. Make a plan. Stick to up. Myth #4… busted!

#5 Strip Clubs are Rip off Joints

This myth goes hand in hand with number 4 above. It all depends on your expectations. If you think that by spending $100 on lap dances that the stunning beauty you fancy is going home with you then prepare to be disappointed.

As long as you have realistic expectations, you’ll have a great time. Just keep in mind, the real business of strip clubs is to sell a fantasy. A night filled with beautiful ladies who are interested in YOU! Once you start to venture outside of that fantasy with unreasonable and unlikely outcomes, that’s where the fantasy breaks down. Yes, some guys are lucky enough to hook up with a beautiful dancer. More than likely, that guy put in a lot of hard work, and not necessarily money to make that happen. Top dancers have enough money on their own, it’s not a real relationship motivator. (You’d be surprised how many dancer’s boyfriends don’t even work!)

Just sit back & relax, keep your pecker in your pants, and let the professionals do what they do best and you’ll have the time of your life!

This post was last modified on May 15, 2024 9:07 am

Benjamin Barber: